A Joy Filled Home

By Nicole VanGelder

The Beauty of Chaos

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I used to believe that in an ideal world, my house would be clean and orderly, almost always. I would have more money in the bank and life would have a nice rhythm with only good interruptions (think: travel). 

I still enjoy a clean and orderly house (on the rare occasion it happens, at least). And, I certainly wouldn’t turn down more money in my account if it were offered! However, I no longer believe that this is what an ideal world looks like. In fact, it may sound crazy, but I wouldn’t choose it even if I could. The reason for this is because I believe wholeheartedly that an ideal life is a life lived with people. And, anytime people are involved, so is a certain level of chaos.

It is uncomfortable, irritating, frustrating, and stretching to the point of actually breaking, for your life to be lived in close connection with others. (This is particularly true if they are little people that are born without boundaries or even the most basic of manners!) Nothing has stretched my character the way that being a wife and mother has—not to mention my comfort level. And by no means is this a reflection on my family! Instead, life with them has exposed the real me: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But, the miraculous thing is that this exposure has been the very thing that has brought me life! I have been found wanting so many times. There are many instances where I have fallen short. Yet, life goes on. Daily life and the demands of it don’t stop. This requires me to move past my shortcomings and keep going. As a result, I grow. 

Some days, I have had a harder time with this than others. But, I love my family. I sincerely want to be a positive force in their life. I want my marriage to thrive. I want my home to be a place of love and peace and joy. Because of this, even when my weaknesses are exposed, or I don’t know how do keep going, I can’t quit! Instead, I have to dust myself off and try, try, again. This can be a very humbling experience. But, I’ve also learned that it is the very place where the most beautiful things happen. 

For example, I am confident of my husband’s love for me. Not because our life together has been perfect, but rather the opposite. He has seen me at my lowest, at my worst, and yet, he loves me. We have lived through both triumph and tragedy, joy and deep pain. We haven’t always responded well. Yet, it is perhaps the hard times that have forged our connection the strongest. We’ve failed each other in countless ways—but, we’ve never actually failed, because we never quit! Instead, we have chosen to keep going. In the process we’ve learned countless lessons, yes—but, none more important than the truth that love really does win the day if you just keep choosing it. At the start of our journey, I couldn’t have imagined how pure and deep my love for this man would grow to be. And, it isn’t done growing, yet! I am sincerely thankful each day for our journey together. My heart truly overflows with love.

Living with kids, in the close confines and chaos of family life, has also changed me more than I could have guessed it would. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some growing to do. (Okay, a lot of growing to do!) There are days when the chaos of a family of ten gets to me. I still sometimes fantasize a little about a real life “Baileywick”* to come and bring order and a little magic to our life. But, I also find that my heart gets joy out of some of the very things that I used to fight against. Some of this is because I have actually grown. But, my perspective has grown too. The way I see has changed. I know that the days of my family existing under one roof are numbered. I know that being involved in the process of my children’s daily life is a privilege, a true honor. I understand that external messes are much more easily cleaned up than then internal ones caused—even unintentionally—by a mom with the wrong priorities. I also know that if I don’t embrace the chaos of life with them now, I very well may not be invited to be a part of their lives later—and I desperately want to be a valuable part of their lives, always!

Proverbs 14:4  says: “Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.” (NASB) Obviously there are many applications to this. But the basic truth remains the same: Life is cleaner, and easier to manage when there is less in it. The downside is that there is less in it. 

Another version of this verse reads: “The only clean stable is an empty stable. So if you want the work of an ox and to enjoy an abundant harvest, you’ll have a mess or two to clean up!” (TPT) 

If this was specifically about family life it would probably read more like this: An empty house is clean. But, a home filled with people is rich; not in money, but in life—and messes!

Family life really is rich. Yes, it is messy. But, if it is done well, it overflows with love, joy, laughter, safety, growth, kindness, and so much more. 

Today’s Prayer: 

Father, thank you for the journey. Thank you that you are with me helping me to grow so that I can be more like You and live the life I was created for. Thank you for my family. Help me to see them like you do. Give me grace for the messes of life together and eyes to see the beauty in the chaos. Thank you that you love me in spite of my messiness. Help me to love my family in that same way. Thank you for the honor of being a part of their lives. Help me to treat them accordingly and to order my days according to those things that are truly important. Amen. 

 

*Bailywick is the butler on the show Sofia the First. 

A Devotional for Moms: Wearing the Armor of God

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Verse Highlight: 

Ephesians 6:10-18 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,”

Ephesians 6: 11-18 (The Message) “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong.   So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

Ephesians 6:11-18 (TPT) “Now my beloved ones, I have saved these most important truths for last: Be supernaturally infused with strength through your life-union with the Lord Jesus. Stand victorious with the force of his explosive power flowing in and through you. Put on God’s complete set of armor provided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser! Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage. Because of this, you must wear all the armor that God provides so you’re protected as you confront the slanderer, for you are destined for all things and will rise victorious. Put on truth as a belt to strengthen you to stand in triumph. Put on holiness as the protective armor that covers your heart. Stand on your feet alert, then you’ll always be ready to share the blessings of peace. In every battle, take faith as your wrap-around shield, for it is able to extinguish the blazing arrows coming at you from the Evil One! Embrace the power of salvation’s full deliverance, like a helmet to protect your thoughts from lies. And take the mighty razor-sharp Spirit-sword of the spoken Word of God. Pray passionately in the Spirit, as you constantly intercede with every form of prayer at all times. Pray the blessings of God upon all his believers.”

Dear Moms,

A life of faith requires…well, faith. Though the Lord is real and very present in our lives, living according to faith means putting stock into things that aren’t always visible to the naked eye. Most of us practice our faith easily during times of great importance or struggle in our life—for example, even people who have never prayed before tend to do so naturally during times of great tragedy or trouble! And, if we are in the habit of attending a regular church service (something I highly recommend, by the way!!) we find ourselves “practicing” our faith during those corporate experiences. Both of these are good things! But, they aren’t enough to sustain your faith or your life. Daily life is the place where faith solidifies and deepens. It is where intimacy with the Lord is sustained. 

One key to seeing your faith come to life is proactively applying “truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation” each day, in moments both big and small. It can be easy to miss this in the busy nature of daily life with kids. Your kids are right there, placing demands on you. (Along with laundry, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and so on.) It can be overwhelming! Did you know, though, that sometimes the emotional toll you are feeling is not actually because you are overworked or too tired?

Yes, those things do affect our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. But, as believers, we actually have the ability to rise above and live according to a greater reality. There is abundant grace, peace that passes understanding, and unquenchable joy available! It is possible to display patience, kindness, and all the other aspects of love in our daily lives in increasing measure. In fact, not only is it possible, but it is the natural course of a life of faith. 

So, what if this isn’t happening? Well, it could be that you have simply disconnected your heart from the Lord’s and you need to stop, repent and reconnect. Or—and most likely—it is a combination of things, with a key one being that you have been influenced by outside sources and you haven’t even realized it. The schemes of the devil are sometimes obvious—war, tragedy, disease, and do on. But, the ways that he can infiltrate our lives are often unnoticed. We feel overwhelmed, agitated, hopeless, stuck…etc. We don’t realize that our thoughts aren’t ours and make choices that end up being based all on lies! 

The good news is that we don’t have to live like this. Instead, the Lord has equipped us to overcome the enemy and his slander! Our job is to learn to use the weapons we’ve been given! As you put these into practice each day, you will find that your heart changes, your mindset shifts, and the atmosphere of your home grows more peaceful and loving!

The Lord is with you, mama! He loves you. He loves your kids. You might not realize it, but He has given you all you need to overcome the enemy and stand firm! So, whatever you are facing this week, trust that He has already prepared you for victory!

Action Step: Put on the Armor of God (Daily)

Reread the passage from Ephesians above. As you do, practice “putting it on”. For example: “Thank you, Lord, that you have equipped me with truth. Help me to know You and Your ways, and to recognize the deception of the enemy so I don’t fall for his schemes.” 

Do this line by line, putting it into a prayer in your own words.  (I encourage you to use different versions   to get the most full expression of the passage) Do it every morning this week. Then, at the end of the week, take note of the result and celebrate any victories that occurred! 

You’ve got this, mom! You were created for victory, so don’t be discouraged! Keep on going and you will experience it in your life and home—your kids will, too.

A Devotional for Moms: Rejoice • Pray • Give Thanks

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Verse Highlight:

1 Thess. 5:16-17  “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NASB)

“Let joy be your continual feast. Make your life a prayer. And in the midst of everything be always giving thanks, for this is God’s perfect plan for you in Christ Jesus.” (TPT)

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” (The Message)

Dear Moms, 

It stinks, but cheerfulness is a choice. This is not what you want to hear the morning after you’ve been up all night with a fussy baby or when you are trying to make your finances work—not to mention trying to navigate any number of tragedies that life throws at you!

Yet, there is no asterisk. No exceptions. Rejoice always. Choose joy. Be calmly cheerful. Always. How is this possible? And, why is it important? 

Well, first of all, I want to clarify something. The Lord is not ignorant of the pain of your life. And, it isn’t that He doesn’t care! He cares deeply! He cares about you and the issues that you face—both the big tragedies and the rubs of daily life. In fact, He doesn’t just sympathize with us from a distance. He truly understands! As Hebrews says, “We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all..” (Heb.4:15 The Message)

The Lord understands. He doesn’t grow angry at our tears. He wipes them from our eyes—and even cries with us. But, in the midst of that, He also call us higher. 

Let’s look again at Hebrews. This time the whole verse and the one after: “We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.” (Heb. 4:15-16)

When Jesus was on earth, He experienced all that we experienced! There is one big difference though—He responded without sin. Because of this, we can too. 

It isn’t that everything will be easy. It isn’t that we won’t experience frustration or difficulties or pain. But, even in the midst of all of that, we choose how we respond. We can choose to rejoice, pray, and give thanks. 

Rejoice. Be glad. Choose joy. This isn’t just an outward, fake smile. This isn’t pretending that everything is okay. This is actually a reflection of your faith. You are glad, full of joy, because your faith won’t allow anything else. Your faith knows that God is good. Your faith sees beyond the current moment. You faith trusts that the Lord will prevail and your life will display His goodness and glory! Dwell on this and it won’t be long before your emotional state matches your mindset. God is good and this is reason enough to rejoice!

Pray. Let your life be a prayer. Stay in constant connection with the Lord. Talk, yell, cry. Listen. Shape and be shaped by the reality of heaven touching earth through your prayers. 

Give thanks. Thankful for what? Well, you could start by being thankful for Jesus. Thankful that He understands. That He is with you and He cares. Thankful that He freely gives mercy and grace in abundance. Start by being thankful about that and you may be amazed at how many other reasons you find through be thankful after. 

God’s will for us is to trust Him. To stay connected to Him and live according to a higher reality. So, today, I encourage you to do just that. 

Action Step: Rejoice, Pray, and Give Thanks!  

Whatever your day holds, make a purposeful choice to do these things. If you face trials, tragedies, or frustrations, don’t deny your experience! But, instead of growing angry or defeated, pause. Go to the Lord for the grace you need. Then choose joy. Pray. Be thankful. As you cultivate these values and responses in your heart, you will find it impact the atmosphere in your home, too. As a result, your home will become a safer (and more fun!) place to be.

A Devotional for Moms: A Good Work

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Verse Highlight:

Philippians 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (NASB)

Amplified Version: “I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return].”

Dear Moms,

I like to plan. I don’t really like to commit to the plan, necessarily, but I like there to be a plan, even if it is just in my head. And then I like for things to go according to plan—unless I am the one who has dictated otherwise. I like a clean house. I like it when children obey immediately every time. I like it when we get in a really good day of homeschool and are still done early! I like it when everyone is healthy and when every one gets along (no bickering) and when there are periods of quiet in the house (because people are all quietly behaving themselves). I could go on, but you get it. 

And, thankfully, most days do go well! But, rarely do they go completely according to plan. And, the truth is they aren’t meant to! Life is not an artificially scripted experience. And, thank God for this!

Life is a journey where the Lord leads, guides, teaches, corrects, comforts, and loves us as we grow. It is on the journey that maturity and completion come. 

Biblically speaking, perfection means “completion, finished, accomplished, fulfilled, to bring to an end” etc. It is what something becomes as it grows & matures—it’s end state. But, to grow & mature you must, well, grow & mature! You must go through process. And, process is often messy. It rarely goes according to plan. But, if you embrace it, you will find joy in its beauty, even in the midst of the messiness!

Understanding this is essential because it will allow you to make room for the journey—yours, your kids’, and everyone else’s! No longer will you be defeated if a day doesn’t go according to plan. Instead, you will see it as an opportunity for growth & grace to win the day. 

There is a key to success: Trust God. Put your faith in Him, and not in a generic way. Put your journey in His hands. After all, He is the one that will bring you to your finished state. The Voice Bible says that God “will not stop in mid-design but will keep perfecting you ”. I love that because it indicates that there is a plan. It just may or may not match yours. 

This is good news for you because it takes the pressure off! You don’t need to aim for perfection. You don’t need to panic if things don’t go according to plan. And, you aren’t even ultimately in charge of the “grand plan”. This is good news for you personally because you can have confidence that the Lord is with you & will equip you & help you to grow to maturity. You don’t need to be put off by your lack, or messy (even ugly) parts. Instead, trust Him to lead you, guide you, and finish the work He has started in you as He does. (This doesn’t mean you don’t have a part to play, by the way. You will find that following Him is very good, but often not easy as it requires you to do things His way—which requires a lot of growing & stretching as you change to be like Him.)

This is good news for your kids too. First because it makes room for a household that celebrates growing instead of perfection. And, secondly, because it means the Lord can be trusted with their journey, too. This takes the pressure off of you & them. Instead of needing to micromanage, worry, and control their lives, you are free to stay an engaged & loving parent who is partnering with the Lord in their lives. This doesn’t make parenting easy. But, it does remove the wrong type of pressure, leaving room for more freedom, joy, and love in the journey. 

You’ve got this mama! No matter where you’re at, its never too late to trust the Lord. So take a deep breath & trust that the Lord’s grace will carry you & your kids as you learn, grow, and love each other this week.

Action Step: Make Room for Perfection.

As said above, perfection is completion. It is a result of maturing. Maturing happens because of process. Your kids will mature as they are given more opportunity & responsibility. You will mature as you learn, grow & change, too. So, this week: make room for growth. Find one practical way to make space for both you & your kids to grow! 

For example: Give your children a new chore to do. This may be something they do with you or something you show them how to do & then trust them to do on their own. The important thing is to allow them to grow into it. Don’t be so concerned with the lack of immediate perfection. Instead, celebrate their progress. Guide them, but give them room to grow & mature in doing it. 

For yourself, it may mean being honest with yourself (& others). Give up the pressure of having to look like you have it all together. If there is an area of struggle, be honest about it! Ask the Lord to help teach you first & formost—and then actually follow Him as He leads in that area. Also, you may want to have a conversation with your spouse or others where you share your struggle, admit that you are messy in this area & are processing it with the Lord. Ask them simply to give you space and grace as you go. You may be amazed at how giving yourself permission & making room for the process will actually lead you to an increased maturity in an area. 

A Devotional for Moms: Are Your Eyes Light?

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Verse Highlight:

Matthew 6:19-24 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” (emphasis mine)

The Message “Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have! You can’t worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you’ll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can’t worship God and Money both.”

Dear Moms, 

I have read Matthew 6 and the chapters around in countless times, yet they continue to both challenge and deeply encourage me! I encourage you take time to read them too! But, for the sake of this devotional though, we are going to focus mainly on the above verses. 

These verses are speaking about storing treasure in heaven rather than on earth and then there is a seemingly random passage about eyes. What? How does this fit? What does one have to do with the other?

Our eyes are so important. What we see helps to shape the way we see and understand the world around us.  This is why it can be so damaging for kids (and us!) to watch things that are immoral or even simply without context or understanding. Is is important that we are thoughtful with what we allow before our eyes. But, it is also important that we train our eyes in how to see. 

Have you ever noticed that different people experience the same circumstances differently? It is amazing how this happens! But, we all know this is true. We all have someone in our life somewhere who constantly sees things from a negative point of view. (If you don’t, there is a good chance that you are this person!) This isn’t actually a bad thing. God wired people differently and certain personalities tend in this direction—which means that there is good reason for it. 

However, it also means that you may need to work harder than others to train your eyes in how they see. And, the truth is, this is something we all need to consciously do because the way we see determines the light we carry. And, if the light inside of us is dark, how great is the darkness! This is because we are the source of the darkness and we don’t even realize that what we are seeing is darkness! We think it is what light looks like!

And, the cost of our eyes being dim is great. We practice righteousness for the applause of man instead of heaven. We focus on the wrong things & become consumed with the cares of this world. We worry and strive and end up hating and despising the very One we think we are serving. 

Yikes! But, there is good news. It is this: we get to control how we see. We can train our eyes to see with light. The question is how do we do this? 

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6:34 The Message

One way we train our eyes to see correctly is by focusing on what God is doing right now. And if you can’t see what He is doing it’s because you haven’t been paying attention. So, today, I want to invite you to open your eyes and see. He is with you! Stop, take a deep breath and close your eyes right now, just for a second. 

Did you feel His Presence? If not, try it again (and again!)—however long you have to try before you do. It might just be a glimpse of Him, but that’s all you need. It’s the start. Recognizing that God is with you and looking for Him, straining to see what He is doing—it will change the way you see. Rather than lack, you will see an opportunity for Him to provide. Rather than stress, you will lean into His grace. Rather than fear, you will find His unshakable love. 

I don’t know what you are facing today. I don’t know what this season of motherhood looks like. But, I do know that the Lord is with you. He loves you. He loves your kiddos. So, let this thought strengthen and encourage you today. No matter what is happening in your world and the world in general, the Lord is near and if you open your eyes to it, you will be filled with wonder, belief, and light as you see all that He is doing. 

You’ve got this, Mama! And, more importantly, He’s got this. And He’s got you, too. Just open your eyes and see. 

Action Step: One way to train our eyes is by praying the Lord’s Prayer regularly. (I’ve mentioned this in previous devotionals.) So, I encourage you to pray this prayer each day. 

Matthew 6:9-13 “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]”

As you pray it, change it into your own words so you are processing—and believing—the words you are praying! You will be amazed at how these simple words will change the way you see and grow faith in your heart. 

A Devotional for Moms: Love Believes the Best (in You!)

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Verse Highlight: 1 Corinthians 13:7 “[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (NASB)

New Living Translation: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 

The Passion Translation: “Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

Dear Moms,

1 Corinthians 13 gives us quite a list about love. It’s kind of like a recipe. These things make up love. And, like most recipes, all of the ingredients are important! If you take one out or try and substitute it for something else, the end product won’t be quite the same. It won’t be as good. All the ingredients are important, but perhaps the one that amazes me the most is the one above. I wonder how many of the other ingredients flow from it. 

Belief indicates trust. It is about having confidence in something in such a way that you place trust in them. This kind of belief is not a mild “this could happen”. It isn’t an idle hope. 

Think for a moment of the people in your life that have believed in you—truly believed. These type of people tend to be rare. I had a teacher once that saw more in me than I saw in myself & took the time to speak to me about the possibilities for my future. She spoke in a “if you pursue this, you will be successful” type of a way. Not a “maybe or could”. Jamey & I have had the amazing privilege of having older people come into our lives in a similar way at various times in our life. They would encourage us and add strength to us by the faith they placed in us. This is a remarkable thing! It marks you and changes you.

Do you know that the Lord looks at you & believes in you? Think about this: the Lord loves your children. He created them. They are, in fact, His children. Yet—He gave them to you!

On occasion, I have left my kids with others while Jamey & I have been out of town. It is always a difficult process. Even though we have amazing people in our life—that love our kids & I know will do great with them—it just isn’t the same. Eight kids (well, less that need watching now) is a lot to manage. Bed times & meals & routines—there are a lot of details! What happens if they get sick? Or something happens? It can be stressful!

In fact, there are many more opportunities to go than Jamey & I take simply because it is so costly to leave. Yet, the Lord willingly gave us His kids! 

He trusts us to take care of them. To love them. To nurture them. To teach them & guide them. He trusts us to lead them to Him. This must mean that He sees more in us than we often see in ourselves. 

God isn’t reluctant with you. He wholeheartedly believes in you. He is with you on your journey, equipping & teaching you—correcting when needed—but mostly? Mostly, I think, He is cheering you on. If you listen, you can hear Him.

The Lord trusts you, so you should believe the best in yourself too! And, you should trust Him, too. Trust that He is with you. Trust that He knew what He was doing when He created you. And, trust that it was not an accident when He gave you His children to be yours. 

“Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.” Let the Lord’s love be your safe shelter. As you do, you will become a safe shelter for your kids (and others!) too.

Action Step: Train your brain! It may seem silly, but I want you to repeat the following words to yourself, “The Lord loves me. I am His beloved. He knows me, trusts me & believes the best in me. He is with each moment of the journey. I can trust Him & believe the best about myself, my life, and my future.”

The Lord is cheering you on, and so am I! May you encounter the Lord & His love for you this week bringing healing, refreshment, and great joy.

A Devotional for Moms: The Fruit of the Spirit

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Verse Highlight: Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

The Message: “But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way.”

TPT: “But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions: joy that overflows, peace that subdues, patience that endures, kindness in action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit. Never set the law above these qualities, for they are meant to be limitless.“

Dear Moms, 

I am writing this a couple of days after I got home from a short trip. As a mom, leaving is the worst. Not only is there the emotion of it, but there are also so many details that go into planning for it! Then there is the transition of returning home. Usually, it requires a little bit of time to kind of get things “back on track” once you get back. All in all, it can be a lot to manage. On top of all of this is the lack of sleep, etc. that often occur (both to those traveling and those at home). So it is no surprise that people can sometimes get a little out of sorts during these times, and this time—it was me. 

My trip went well and the kids were well cared for I was gone (my husband and two oldest kids were with me). I was looking forward to getting home and being with all the kiddos again, but once I was I found myself not quite myself. I found myself getting more easily agitated. I knew that I was wrong, but I still had a hard time getting out of it. 

Now, there are a lot of possible reasons for why I was feeling like this. And, I’m sure they all contributed to this! But, the main problem was something else entirely. It was my lack of connection spiritually.

I spent years religiously trying to grow in the fruit of the Spirit by my own power. It doesn’t work—at least not long term. I have tried changing schedules and systems to keep things orderly and running well. This usually works for a while! As long as everything is going according to plan, there is peace and joy. The problem is when something stops working. When a child (or husband😉) doesn’t cooperate with the plan. When an illness or other uncontrollable event occurs. Then the peace goes away. Frustration mounts. Fruit displayed in our lives that we have grown by our own power is only good while our lives stay under control. When that control is disrupted—yikes! Let’s just say, it does not bring out our best. 

But, here is the good news: The fruit of the Spirit is just that—fruit produced by the Holy Spirit. He creates it. (The Lord is our gardener!) This is amazing news because it is not determined by our circumstances or our own strength. Instead, it comes though our connection with Him! When I am connected to Him my priorities and values change—they become heavenly in nature. Dirty dishes or sick kids, or other “not according to plan” moments don’t phase me. (Well, maybe sometimes for a moment.😅) 

So, the next time you are feeling overwhelmed, impatient, generally “out of sorts” I want to encourage you: it isn’t because of the dishes. Or the mouthy or crying kid. It isn’t because of your spouse or your job. Sure, these may be contributing factors. There may even be adjustments that need to be made. But, you should start by reconnecting your heart with the Father’s and inviting the Holy Spirit into your moment. If you allow Him room to produce the fruit of heaven in you, He will! 

Being a mom isn’t easy. It is demanding and there are ample opportunities for our worst to be brought out of us. But, I guarantee that the Lord is with you! He loves you and is so proud of you. Not only is He cheering you on, but He is with you in it. Comforting and empowering you to be a mom in His image, creating a life and home full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Action Step: Stop and take a deep breath—in and out. Again. And again. As you do, invite the Holy Spirit to fill you. This may sound like a silly exercise, but it’s amazing how impactful slowing down and connecting our heart to His is! When you do this regularly, you will find His fruit growing in your life.*

*I also encourage time in the Word and prayer, too! 

A Devotional for Moms: The Sacrificial Nature of Love

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Verse Highlight: Ephesians 5:1-2 “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (NLT)

Dear Moms,

I cringe a little when I remember some of the internal struggle I went through while I was pregnant with my youngest. After our second youngest had been born, we mostly thought that we were done. We had seven children (& miscarriages!) and had begun to feel like that season of our family life was coming to an end. We went ahead and added two dogs to our brood and began settling into a new phase of life—one that was absent of pregnancy and newborns and all that went with that. However, when I felt the prompt of my heart that perhaps we weren’t done after all, I listened. I prayed about it. I asked the Lord to speak to my husband, if this was indeed the case. And He did! In a very specific & miraculous way. (Through a prophetic word given by a stranger while he was in another state.) So, it wasn’t a surprise when I found out that I was pregnant. However, it was a surprise when I miscarried. There was grief, of course. Yet, it was different somehow. I grieved but with a deeper peace, and trust, and hope. I was able to worship the Lord wholly even as I was miscarrying—not in spite of what was happening, as had been the case in previous situations. Instead, I was truly trusting Him and captivated by His goodness and beauty. It’s hard to put into words how special this time was, even in the midst of grief. At the other side of it, it truly felt like closure and healing to pain of my journey to motherhood. 

So, when I later became pregnant again, I was a little caught off guard. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any joy in it. But, I felt unprepared. And, as my pregnancy progressed the weight of the cost of adding a baby to my life caused pain and fear because I had already begun to dream and plan for life after babies. It all came to a head in Hawaii. I was in Maui with Jamey. He had surprised me with a trip for our twentieth anniversary. (I found out the next day I was pregnant.) By the time we went, I was six months pregnant and everyone thought we were there on a “baby” moon. I look back now and see it’s silly, but at the time, I hated each time someone made that comment! I was there on a romantic trip! But, my pregnancy had changed so much of it! It wasn’t fair! So it was that towards the end of the trip, we were sitting eating lunch on a balcony overlooking the ocean—on an absolutely beautiful day!—but I was in tears, pouring out the pain of having to give up my plans that didn’t include a newborn. And, looking ahead at the future and doing the math of just how long it would be until I didn’t have a small person who needed me. It suddenly felt like my whole life had been swallowed up, and I would never be my own again!

I think most moms have been there, at least for a moment here or there. As I write this, I have a three year old that is the absolute apple of my eye. I cherish her. I cherish my moments with her. I often wish I could slow down time and have more time with her in these special days! So, when I think back to my fears, I am so very thankful to the Lord! His goodness gave me this precious girl as a gift, even when I couldn’t receive her as a gift at first. 

What does this have to do with today’s devotional? Because today’s devotional is about the sacrificial nature of love. Love is complicated. It is so beautiful and it makes us feel so good. When we love someone, we get joy by giving to them. It doesn’t really make sense. Yet, love is more than that. Pure love costs us. It sacrifices self for the sake of another. And, sometimes this is painful. 

There is a story about David in 2 Samuel 24 (or 1 Chronicles 21). David has sinned before the Lord and is  needing to offer a sacrifice to Him. While he is buying the the land on which he will offer the sacrifice, the man who owns it offers to give David the land for free. In this exchange, David makes the famous statement, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing.”

There is something about love (and worship and service) that is much more precious when it comes at a cost. Our Father in heaven was willing to offer the sacrifice of His own Son because of His love for us. If love cost Him that much, I don’t know why we would ever believe that it doesn’t cost us, too!

Motherhood is amazing. Our children are a gift that add great joy to our lives. But, they are not in our lives to serve us. Instead, we have been entrusted with them and it is up to us to love them with the same love type of love that the Lord loves us with! This love empowers them and believes in them and treats them with kindness. This type of love will create a home that is safe and filled with joy and hope and heart connection. But, this does not come free. 

The Message version of the Bible says Ephesians 5:1-2 like this, “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” 

I love this: His love was not cautious, but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something but to give everything. 

This is what love looks like. Any other version is a cheap knock off. 

When I look back to the inner pain and struggle that I had before my youngest was born, I am so thankful for the process the Lord took me through, A lot of ugliness came out of me. Though I had trusted Him so well in the miscarriage I had shortly before, I struggled to trust Him with my future as a mom of eight. The truth is that I didn’t want to. I wanted to do things my way. I didn’t want to sacrifice my plans. 

This process mirrors other struggles I’ve had. Though it embarrasses me that after all the times the Lord has proved Himself good & faithful to me I still fail to trust Him sometimes, I am so thankful for the process of surrender because it has helped me to learn how to love. (Real love—the kind that is eternal in nature!) It isn’t that I am there yet, I am still on the journey. But, at least now I recognize the value. I understand that there is nothing greater I could do than lay down my life for another. 

There is nothing greater that any of us can do. 1 John 3:16 says we know love because of what Jesus did. The NLT version says it this way: “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us…”

We know real love. The kind of love that is deep and wide and eternal in nature. We’ve been loved like this—we are loved like this! So, we don’t have to offer anything less to those around us. True love, real love, is not selfish in nature. It looks out for the interests of others & willingly pays a price in service and care of them. 

Moms—you’ve got this. Your love is more valuable than you know and no sacrifice is wasted! The love you offer will not just shape the world you (and others!) live in here, but it will live on into eternity. 

Action Step: Spend some time in prayer, processing love! Receive love from the Lord first. Then, ask Him to help you to love unselfishly. It may be that there is some correction or mindset/heart change that needs to happen during this time! As it does, trust Him! Say yes to His ways! After this, go about your day with a changed & lightened heart, filled with “real” love for those around you. 

A Devotional for Moms: Grace & Wisdom

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Verse Highlight: 

Proverbs 4:6-9 “Never walk away from Wisdom—she guards your life; love her—she keeps her eye on you. Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom! Write this at the top of your list: Get understanding! Throw your arms around her—believe me, you won’t regret it; never let her go—she’ll make your life glorious. She’ll garland your life with grace, she’ll festoon your days with beauty.” (The Message)

Here is the sam passage in the NASB: “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you.“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.“Prize her, and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her. “She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty.”

Dear Moms, 

I said to my husband just the other day, “I think I’m starting to get this whole motherhood thing down.” I was saying it tongue in cheek, but there was also a grain of truth to it. It was tongue in cheek because I have actually learned a thing or two in the past nineteen years (thankfully!!), but also because I recognize that I am not quite there yet. My motherhood journey is not over and I have a feeling that I will be growing and learning, being refined, for all of it! 

Sometimes I’m learning because I am actually encountering a new situation, one that I’ve never faced before. In those moments, even if I have head knowledge, experiencing it personally is a whole different thing! (For example, it’s helpful to learn what to expect during childbirth, but no matter how much you learn about it, actually going through it is a much different experience for most of us!) Other times I’m learning a lesson I’ve already learned! This is because I have known something in part, but never actually put it into practice. 

It doesn’t really matter why I need to learn, the important thing is that I do. It’s also important that I recognize this. When I recognize that I am not perfect, my journey not yet complete, I remain teachable. I seek wisdom and understanding. This is put in practice this way: I pray & ask the Lord what to do. I ask Him to teach me. I listen for His voice. I spend time in His Word with an open heart and mind. I ask questions and learn from others. And so on. 

It also looks like this: Change. Repenting for areas I haven’t lived wisely. Sometimes this requires apologizing to my kids or others and then learning new values and behaviors. Even good change can be painful because it stretches you. It requires proaction and practice. You can’t be lazy. This is why, by the way, that wisdom is all too often rare. (You’ll notice in the passage above that it requires action on your part!)

But, the good news is this: the effort is worth it! When you put forth the effort, you will change. And, not only that, but your life will change! For the better! And, more good news? The Lord will give you wisdom! (See James 1:5.) Earthly wisdom can be helpful, but heavenly wisdom? That is of incomparable worth. Not only will that change your life, but it will impact the world because the seeds of heaven are contained within it.

I don’t know what you specifically need wisdom for today. Maybe you are a new mom, facing the challenges of of motherhood for the first time. Trying to figure life out as a mom—while you are exhausted—can feel overwhelming. Maybe you are facing an entirely different challenge as you are learning what motherhood looks like as you experience an “empty nest” for the first time. Or, perhaps it is one of a billion other things that face moms. I don’t know, but I know there is something because your journey isn’t over yet either! And, the best news of all? The Lord knows and He is with you!

Today’s Action Step: 

First: Pray! Ask the Lord for wisdom. Welcome Him into your heart and life to teach and guide you. Repent in any area where you haven’t been teachable. Ask the Lord to give you one specific action step. This could be a way to seek wisdom, or it could be a specific action step of wisdom to take in the area you have been needing wisdom. (Make sure to spend some time listening!)

Then: Act! It is important to not put this off. Acting on what the Lord says as soon as possible is often key to actually putting His wisdom into practice. 

Finally: Repeat this daily, as often as needed. 

Be encouraged! The Lord is not far off. He is with you and He has all the wisdom you could possibly need. No situation you are facing is even a little bit difficult for Him. As you seek wisdom, not only will you find it, but you will find Him. So, take heart! Gather your courage, and let the Lord give wisdom and grace to your day.

 

A Devotional for Moms – Accessing Grace Through Prayer

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Verse Highlight: 

Matthew 15:29-31 “Departing from there, Jesus went along by the Sea of Galilee, and having gone up on the mountain, He was sitting there. And large crowds came to Him, bringing with them those who were lame, crippled, blind, mute, and many others, and they laid them down at His feet; and He healed them. So the crowd marveled as they saw the mute speaking, the crippled restored, and the lame walking, and the blind seeing; and they glorified the God of Israel.”

Dear Moms, 

I am in awe of Jesus for so many reasons, but the fact that He was continually interrupted and pulled on by people who needed things from Him and He never lost His mind? Well, that is certainly a wonder. At least to me. I love my kids. All of them. More than I ever knew was possible. My heart feels like it has literally grown because of them! It is almost overwhelming sometimes. But even with all of that being true, I sometimes just want to say, “Leave me alone! Don’t touch me! I don’t know! Please just be quiet!” even when they are not doing anything at all except simply trying to be with me. In those moments I know that they are not the problem, but I still struggle to respond to them with kindness. Most—if not all—moms can identify with moments like this. (I may even know a mom that used to “hide” for a moment of quiet in her closet. I know this, because it was me!*)

It can be difficult to have the unending pressure of someone else needing you—especially if they aren’t considerate of even your basic needs! That is why it is so amazing to me that Jesus would look at the crowds of people interrupting His life with such compassion and care. Always. How did He do this? And, can we be like this too?

I do think that there is a key to this: Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer. He would go off by Himself & spend time with His Father. And while I think these times contained talking, listening, and probably just being with the Father, we do have a blueprint for creating the same type of experience in prayer. 

Matthew 11:1-13 “It happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, after He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John also taught his disciples.” And He said to them, “When you pray, say:

‘Father, hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

‘Give us each day our daily bread.

‘And forgive us our sins,

For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

And lead us not into temptation.’”

I learned this prayer when I was young, and the older I get, the more I understand the wisdom it contains. If I shape my prayers—and my life—by these principles, the more connected I am to the Father and the more I change to be like Him. (Just recently I’ve started praying this each night with my youngest girls and it’s been amazing!) So, let’s take some time to ponder these words. 

Give us each day our daily bread  = Thank you Lord, that you provide everything we need each day! That means there is no reason to worry or try to make our own way. Instead, we can trust confidently in your care for us and ability to provide all that we need every single day!

Forgive us our sins = Forgive me, Father for all the ways I have failed and fallen short. Thank you for the mercy and grace you extend to me every single day.

We forgive everyone who is indebted to us = Right now we forgive everyone who has wronged us and extend them mercy and grace. We trust You to cover and make things right and we completely release the need for justice, knowing you bring good out of every situation on our behalf. 

Lead us not into temptation = We trust you to lead me on the path we should go. We ask you to help us to know you and your ways, that we may live according to them all of our lives.

Do you see how letting these words into your heart could change the way you see? Do you feel the hope in them? They lead us into rest because we are free from sin, bitterness and worry! Instead, we have received forgiveness, offered it to others & been reminded that God is our guide and Provider. From that position, it becomes so much easier to respond to others with grace, compassion, and genuine love and care! 

Today’s Action Step:

Pray! Take time to pray the Lord’s Prayer. You can use your own words or the ones above. The important thing is to allow the meaning of the Words to connect deep inside of you and to connect your heart with the Lord in the process. 

May these words be filled with life and refreshment for you, and may these days be filled with great joy and love!