A Joy Filled Home

By Nicole VanGelder

A Devotional for Moms: Grace is Found in Perfection

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Verse Highlight: 

Matthew 5:48 “Therefore, you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Dear Moms, 

This verse can put quite the pressure on a person! Especially because it was spoken by Jesus Himself, right after He shared quite a few impossible instructions on how to live. Among other things, He compared anger to murder (vs. 21-22), lust to adultery (vs. 27-28), and commanded that His followers love their enemies! This was radical teaching then—and it still is! While the words are no longer new, truly living this way remains a challenge. Was Jesus commanding the impossible? Is this something that can only be fulfilled in heaven? 

Well, yes. And no. Jesus certainly was instructing us to live in a way that can only truly happen through supernatural transformation. But, part of the reason we have such a hard succeeding at this is because of the way we understand perfection.  We think of it as something you start off with, or that it is attained baby keeping something without blemish. When we do something perfectly, we do it correctly the first time, making no mistakes. In this way, a drive for perfection can be detrimental because a) we quickly grow discouraged when things don’t remain perfect (which can cause disillusionment & quitting); and b) it limits our life to a superficial version. We feel pressured to present a specific image to the world around us.  We are reluctant to get involved in things that are beyond our ability to control or contain them. 

But, when Jesus says, “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” He is saying, “be complete, fully mature”. And as a Christian, this happens supernaturally through Christ. Because of Him, we are finished & fully mature, lacking nothing. It would be impossible for us to be in need of more than Him! He provided the way to be healed and whole, fully redeemed. 

Yet, we all experience lack. We all can see areas of immaturity in our lives. Places we need to grow. Character that does not quite reflect that nature of the redeemed. How can both be true? 

The truth is that we are saved through faith in Jesus. Immediately. Supernaturally. But, we spend the rest of our days working out our salvation. We spend the rest of our lives becoming more and more whole and complete—being transformed in His Presence, yes. But, also growing as we follow Him & learn His ways. Becoming more like Him through the process of repentance. The more you grow to be like Jesus, the better you will be. For yourself and for everyone else—especially your family! So, my message for you today is twofold:

First, change your definition of perfection. Realize that you and your family are on the journey toward wholeness together and there is no shame in the journey! You are more mature this year than you were last. The same will be true next year. This is reason to be encouraged because it means that the best will always remain ahead of you. You are going from glory to glory, so celebrate growth and make that the standard of your home, not perfection!

Second, recognize that the Lord is deeply invested in your process and your wholeness happens only because of Him! His grace on your life—His kindness—to you will lead you into maturity, if only you will follow Him. Because He gives you such grace, you should also give grace to yourself! (In other words: Be kind to yourself!!) And, give grace to others too. Intentionally cultivate grace in your home and you will be amazed at how far a little kindness will go. 

Today’s Action Step: 

Celebrate growth! Take some time to recognize areas where you / your family members have grown and celebrate it! Acknowledge it with some kind words and maybe even a celebratory dinner or fun family night. If you have had more value for perfection than growth, this is a good time to reset that. It won’t take long before an atmosphere of grace will grow!

You’ve got this! Lead by example by receiving grace from the Lord and extending it to others—starting with yourself. 

Blessings to you as you do!

A Devotional for Moms: “Suddenly” happens on the Journey–so does Grace!

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Verse Highlight:

John 1:17 “For of [Christ’s] fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.  For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized [or came into being] through Jesus Christ.”

Dear Moms, 

My husband recently shared a story about what childbirth has been like for me. I don’t know what your process has been like, but I’m do know that it has had beauty and pain unique to you and your journey. In my case, my body doesn’t go into labor on its own and when I am in labor, it is back labor that doesn’t easily progress. As a result, my labor is induced and tends to be lengthy without much progress at all until, suddenly. Suddenly! Things start to happen. I once had a nurse check me because of the pain and urge to push that I was experiencing. She was doubtful that anything had happened, but checked me because I asked. She quickly told me to close my legs and not push, as she rushed to get the doctor because I was “suddenly” completely dilated and ready. 

The truth is that none of my labors, personally, were sudden. They all took hours of time (and Pitocin and other help) to occur. Yet, they often felt “sudden” when it was time for the baby to actually come. This is a lot like motherhood—and life in general, for that matter. A lot of motherhood is made up of small moments and the mundane interactions and tasks of daily life. But, then big moments come “suddenly”. Suddenly your infant is a toddler, who suddenly becomes a Preschooler and so on until you are looking at your baby in adult form! 

This is why it is important to make the most of every season. Every season matters. The small moments are what form the basis for the big ones. The relationships that are formed in daily life will become the foundation for your life-long connection. Every season matters and I’ve heard people say that you don’t need to enjoy them all. That it’s enough to simply get through them. And, I understand that. However, I want to challenge that notion. 

The word enjoy has joy right in it! And joy is not merely a fleeting emotion based on circumstances—and thank goodness! Joy is something that you cultivate in your inner life. It is possible to have joy no matter what is happening around you. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that some (maybe even all?) seasons don’t contain grief or the stress of trials. I’m not talking about a surface smile that betrays the inner struggle or pain that may be happening in your heart. Part of your journey is learning how to experience the fullness of emotions without letting them shipwreck your journey! But, it is possible to have joy in every season. I think it is actually important! It is part of growing your character. Learning how to be content in every season. Learning how to live with peace and joy in your daily life—always. 

The good news is that there is grace for this. The bad news is that grace is received in a process. 

John 1:16-17 “And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John testified about Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has a higher rank than I, for He existed before me.’” For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.”

Of Jesus’s fullness we have received, and grace upon grace. Of Jesus’s fullness you have received, and grace upon grace. This passage isn’t talking about motherhood or daily life. But, His grace works the same way. You have already received everything you need through Jesus. He is the key to joy, peace, love, contentment, mercy, grace, provision, and so on. He is the key to everything! So, today, I want to challenge you to find in Him all that you need to face your day with grace. And even with joy. Before you know it, this season will have passed and you will “suddenly” find yourself in a new one, so don’t miss the treasures this season contains while it is here!

Today’s Action Step:

Start a habit of thankfulness. Each day, spend time genuinely thanking the Lord for specific people, opportunities, and so on. You will find that as you do this, your heart will change. You will find it grows with affection and true gratitude to the Lord for His Presence and the gifts He has given in every area of your life. 

I don’t know what your day faces or what this season is like for you. I know these past two years have created some sort of weariness in all of us. But, this is a new year filled with new opportunities to find grace and joy in it all. You’ve got this, Mama! Grace to you! May you find joy in each season, starting with today! ❤️

Devotional for Moms: January Week One: Grace

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Verse Highlight: 

2 Cor. 9:8 “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed “

Dear Moms,

A long time ago, the Lord promised me that there would always be enough grace for me. This is quite a promise if you understand what it means. Grace means kindness, specifically God’s kindness. It is not something you earn or deserve. You don’t (can’t!) work your way into it. Instead, it is based wholly on the character of the Lord. On His goodness & faithfulness. On His love for you. It is much like the most pure moments of love that you have had for your own child, when you are not thinking of yourself, but are overflowing with unselfish love—ready & willing to do whatever you can on their behalf. In those moments, you can almost feel your heart grow, just like the Grinch’s did that Christmas in Whoville. 

But, the kindness of the Lord is even better because it isn’t fleeting! It is steadfast & sure—just like He is. There are no nights of not enough sleep or character issues that are being worked out. There is no lack of resource or patience or wisdom. There is no selfishness mixed in with His love or kindness. His love is pure. His kindness is dependable. But, there is a secret to it! 

The secret is this: Receiving it depends on you. Moreover, you must open your heart to receive it each day. Sometimes moment by moment. 

Being a mom is not easy. Nor is it for the faint of heart. And, the truth is, you are not prepared for what it requires of you! It’s not possible to be—at least not completely—because you develop the “muscles” (skills, character, wisdom, love, etc.) on the job. You grow as you go. But, this is a lot easier and more fun and more rewarding and better all the way around, if you don’t do it on your own. To be honest, I don’t know how people without faith do it! It is only the grace of God that has allowed my journey to be so full of life and beauty and joy. I shudder to think of what it would be like without Him.

That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, even with Him. But, it means that I have confidence that He will see me through. That He will see my kids through. That He will provide everything we need, as we need it. That He will cover us and teach us and guide us. That His kindness will be found true. 

And it is. Every single time. 

Sometimes I don’t see it right away so I have to blindly trust that it’s there. (And, in hindsight, it does become clear!) Sometimes, I forget. I do things in my own strength. I get proud and forget how much I need Him. Or things will go wrong & instead of trusting His Kindness, I throw myself a pity party. Even in those times though, His Kindness is never far away. 

It isn’t far away from you, either. So, with a new year still stretching out before us, all sparkly with possibilities, I have a challenge for you. One that is actually a promise. Trust that His grace is enough. Start each day with it. Receive it fresh as often as needed as you go throughout your day!

Prove 2 Corinthians 9:8 true “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed” (emphasis mine).

Today’s Action Steps:

Start each day with this prayer:“Father, thank you that your Kindness is with me today, in moments big and small. Help me to depend on You, trusting that Your kindness will be there to guide, comfort, and provide for me. I open my heart to receive fresh grace today and I ask you to empower me to be a source of grace for others, too—especially my family. Thank you for your faithfulness to me. I love you. Amen,” Then, repeat this (or a version of it) as often as needed. 

You may not realize it, but you’ve got this, Mama! Grace to you as you go about your day & week!